This morning I woke up inspired, again. A few days ago, I stepped into the shower after a long day and instantly found myself thanking God. What I thought would be a few words of appreciation to my maker turned into a praise session lasting 15 minutes. Never have I experienced the holy ghost, but I believe that was my first taste of being closer to God in the most enlightening way.
Church hasn’t been consistently in my life for some time now. Growing up, my aunt would make me attend every week. As a child, I had no say so, but I would enjoy it simply because of the soft mints she used to give. That was my only true connection to the church that I can remember after all these years. Even at 99, if she can get to church, she goes faithfully. I’ve been a few times in my adulthood, but there’s something that keeps me from fellowshipping with others.
During my praise moment, I realized I needed to speak to God, my way. For years I tried to talk to him alone, and I felt uncomfortable. But this time, it was natural. My words, tears and inability to say more than Thank You took over my mind, body, and spirit. Because of that moment, I am no longer afraid of the journey placed in front of me.
After feeling the strongest spiritual connection I’ve ever felt, I realized I was supposed to have this breakthrough. The thoughts and feeling regarding where I see my life going has me questioning why now? And simply, he was preparing me for the moments to come. Testing my faith was the only way I could receive what I’ve found myself praying for, a way out. Why provide me so many great things if I wasn’t going to take advantage of it? Sure, I asked for a lot, and ironically, I got most of it the way I preferred. Somethings have been hard to come by, things I deemed simple. But they are not.
There is nothing simple in life. You either want it, or you don’t. If you sit and expect it to come because you did one task, you are not deserving of an outcome you’re requesting. Some may have to take more steps than others, but that doesn’t mean the success will be less and shortcuts don’t always work in our favor. Working to achieve what we want has always been a rule of thumb. I have questioned why do I feel like things are so hard so many times, and now I know, I am the reason things were hard.
Failing to discipline my actions have me working harder than I should be. But I am ready. My mind has readjusted to what life needs to be for my body. My soul is finally taking flight not fight, to guide me to my next destination. My ability to see my faults and changed behavior has me secure in my decision making, and I have to thank God for that. The days I doubted if God loved me are now over. He loves us all differently, and the moment I accepted how he loved me, was the moment he made me comfortable in my new journey.
#beinspired #begrateful #live #resilientlifestyle #depressioncannothaveme